A Thousand Cursed Lifetimes
by Shiori07
Summary: Eren and Levi realized that there was more to their relationship than just captain and subordinate. Then they died. In future lives, they seem destined to be reunited... but always under the wrong circumstances. Reincarnation!fic. Don't own cover.


A/N: So, really long one-shot, but I hope you can take the time to read it. This fic is about my view of what love really is: it's not just attraction but devotion, companionship, and sacrifice. This may be the best fic I've written so far, and I hope it gets my point across as I aimed for it to.

Each scene is a different life and Eren's and Levi's personalities might differ with each one, but I think that should be acceptable because they went through different developments each time. Essentially, though, they are the same person.

Disclaimer: I do not own Snk/AoT or the characters.

* * *

 **~A Thousand Cursed Lifetimes~**

Eren woke at dusk, unsure of where he was and what he was doing there. He blinked, immediately shivering at the cold, and glanced around, trying to gain his bearings. He was in a tree, laying on a thick branch and surrounded by piles of leaves, both green and dry. There was a cloak draped over him, the material covered in foliage but relatively clean. He tried to sit up, but let out a small groan as his head throbbed and muscles screamed in protest.

"Eren, stay down. Try not to move." A smooth baritone voice floated over to him from the right, a reassuring hand resting on his arm and guiding him back down.

Eyes widening slightly, Eren attempted to glance over, not sure he was hearing correctly. "Levi-heichou?"

The captain sat about a foot away from him, gray eyes scanning the younger's face. He seemed thin and paler than usual, the bags under his eyes dark and more pronounced than ever. "Welcome to the land of the living, Jaeger. You couldn't have picked a shittier time. Our emergency rations ran out a few days ago and I haven't been able to find food since then. Now you get to experience how fun it is to starve to death. Or freeze, whichever kills us first."

"…Dehydration?" Eren mumbled, still slightly out of it.

Levi snapped and pointed at him like he had won something. "There you go," he said, gazing out at the thousand-foot drop below them. "Nice job, Jaeger. Almost forgot about that one."

For a moment, Eren simply stared at him, teal eyes studying those normally stony ones, now vacant, and neatly parted, raven-black hair, now unkempt and mussy. The brunet never thought he would ever see his captain at such a low point. It hurt.

"Heichou, what are we doing here?"

The raven chuckled humorlessly. "Good question… Well for starters, you, being the dumbass you are, crashed into a tree and got a concussion. Don't give me that look, I know it was a malfunction. I examined your gear before I got rid of it. Anyway, I found you knocked out in a tree and used the rest of my gas to get us to higher ground. I waited until nightfall but no one came, so I've spent what may very well be the end of our shitty existence moving around and trying to keep you alive."

"…Why would you do that?"

"Do what?" Levi asked, glancing over at the small voice.

Eren laid there watching him, confusion and curiosity shining in his eyes. "Why would you risk your life for me when you could have used your gas to find the others? You could have just left me and you would have lived."

There was a slight pause before Levi sighed, leaning his head back against the bark of the tree and looking at the branches above them. "There was no guarantee that I would have found anyone else. You were the only one I saw within the span of an hour. And anyway, I couldn't just leave you."

 _I couldn't just leave you…_ Levi's voice echoed through Eren's head, leaving the younger unable to breathe. Those words… they couldn't mean what he thought they did, could they? Could his captain really feel the same way about him? After all this time? It seemed too good to be true.

And then Eren forced himself to take in a breath. It _was_ too good to be true. Levi could never feel that way about him. That just didn't happen. He only said that because Eren was an asset to humanity. As captain of the Survey Corps and Eren's supervising officer, he had an obligation to stay with the "brat" and keep him alive so long as he could still be of use. There was no deeper meaning.

A cold wind blew through just then, making Eren shiver and huddle under his blanket. He turned on his side, burrowing into the leaves and facing Levi. With a start, he realized that the man wasn't wearing his cloak—it was currently the blanket he was huddled under. The man was folded into himself, his arms hugging his knees to his chest as he stared off into space. He wasn't even shivering, and that was a bad sign considering how cold it was.

"Heichou, you'll freeze to death."

Gray eyes flashed, meeting Eren's in the growing darkness. "It doesn't matter. You need that more than I do."

"…We should share," Eren muttered. Levi's eyes never wavered. "It's important to conserve body heat… Armin says so."

It was a while before the captain finally sighed. "Make room," he said, going into a crouch and easing his way in next to Eren.

Eren scooted over a bit, wincing slightly as his head throbbed, but managed to leave room in the bed of leaves for Levi to lay beside him. He lifted the cloak, carefully pulling it around the both of them, and soon they were both huddled together, side-by-side. For a moment, Eren lay completely frozen, unsure of what to do as he felt Levi's lithe body so close to his. But eventually, he moved his arms, snaking them around the other man's waist and pulling their bodies flush together. He felt his heart thudding in his chest, afraid that Levi would pull away in disgust, but he was surprised when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders, tucking his head against a strong chest.

It was quiet after that, the two of them simply holding each other and bracing themselves against the wind. Beyond them, nothing moved, nothing made a sound… it was a prelude to their inevitable demise.

A lump formed in Eren's throat as those thoughts reached him. He remembered the last time he saw his friends, the last time he spoke to them. There were so many things he wanted to say, and now he would probably never say them… But there was one person here he had a chance to have closure with.

"Heichou…?"

Levi sighed, sounding tired and reluctant to actually speak, but did so anyway. "Yes, brat?"

"I," Eren started, but suddenly his mouth was feeling dry. "I… I wanted to say—I mean—I have to tell you…" The words just didn't come out. No matter how he tried or how much he wanted to, he couldn't say them. In the end, he sighed, hiding his shame in the crook of Levi's neck. "Nothing. Never mind. I'm sorry for saying anything."

The silence had barely settled over them again before Levi was pulling away from him, Eren's eyes widening as his gaze met steady silver.

"No. Say it," the man demanded, his face stoic in that commanding, business-like way of his. It somehow gave Eren the courage to finally speak, swallowing the lump in his throat and opening his mouth to say three, simple words:

"I love you."

Something flashed through Levi's eyes, something that Eren could barely label before it disappeared. Faintly, he registered the feeling of a hand moving to his neck. Next moment, Levi leaned forward, his face getting closer… and then his lips were on Eren's. They kissed. It was soft, gentle, but still sent tingles through the brunet's body. Teal eyes closed and he pressed his body closer, instinctively wanting to occupy the same space as the one pressed against him.

When they pulled apart, Levi sighed through his nose, eyes closed as he rested his forehead against Eren's.

" _Brat._ And you tell me when we're about to die. Stellar timing."

"Hey, I'm not the only one at fault. You could have said something too."

A deep chuckle vibrated through Levi's chest. "True. I guess we're both to blame."

"…Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"Are you asking if maybe we'll meet again in another life?"

There was a small nod against his collarbone.

Levi sighed. "Who knows? But if we do, hopefully we'll get a second chance."

"…Then I'll just have to hope," Eren murmured, his arms circling tighter. "Because I want to have a chance at a life with you."

"...Hope, huh?" The older man gazed out into the darkness, absently running his fingers through soft, chocolate-brown hair. "It seems that's a recurring theme."

Levi wasn't one for believing in such abstract things as hope, but he kept his doubts to himself as time went on and it became harder and harder to stay awake. However, if there was anything he believed in, it was trust, and he knew that if there was anyone he _could_ trust, it was Eren Jaeger.

And that's what he resolved to do, just before his eyes closed for the last time.

* * *

Levi hated business outings. Or really any type of social gathering. It just wasn't his scene, and he hated having to dress up and go out and _talk_ to people he barely knew the names of. He wished he could just sit in the comfort of his own home by himself and enjoy the silence.

But he was a business man, so that wasn't exactly an option.

The raven-haired man tried not to groan audibly as he glanced around the room at the droves of people dressed in fancy suits and flowing dresses. He really just wanted to go home.

"Come on, Levi, don't be such a grump," a bubbly brunette appeared beside him, latching onto his arm overbearingly. "Go out there and mingle!"

Hanji. Just seeing her made him sigh. She may have been annoying, but at least she made these outings a little less abhorrent.

"Let go, Shitty Glasses, before you wrinkle my suit."

"A little wrinkling never hurt anyone."

"It may end up hurting you."

"Oh, please," Hanji said, waving her hand dismissively. "Don't be all uptight. This is why you need to socialize: you might meet someone nice and get laid."

"That's not the point of these. How about I walk you around the floor and you make business connections for me?"

"I'll introduce you to some people, but you need to talk at some point," Hanji sighed, but happily clung to his arm as he guided her along. Levi rolled his eyes, but went along with it. He would never admit it, but he appreciated Hanji doing this for him. It's not that he couldn't talk, he just didn't really want to. He barely found any fulfillment in this line of work, and it was honestly just to live up to expectations and get by.

He was just about to make some bland comment about leaving early when a flash of color caught his eye. It was a vibrant green. But not green. It was a mixture of colors, predominately turquoise and emerald in an oceanic, exotic mix. Heart skipping a beat, Levi turned his head, his silver eyes catching on a head of chocolate-brown hair before it disappeared among the crowd.

"Levi?"

Blinking, the man turned to his companion. "What?"

"Are you ready? The CEO of Survey is over there."

"Right. Yeah, let's get this over with," he muttered, allowing his bespectacled friend to pull him along. But he really didn't want to do it. He didn't want to go over there and talk to people who were only nice to him for his money. He wanted to walk toward those vibrant eyes instead, eyes that belonged to a person he didn't know and probably never would. And he didn't know why.

But that was ridiculous—he knew that—and so he let Hanji pull him along, away from those eyes and toward what would undeniably be his dismal future.

* * *

Eren wasn't sure exactly when sleeping with his boss's son had become normal. He remembered when he had first started working in the Ackerman household, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to actually be of use. That is, until he met Mr. Ackerman and his son, Levi.

In the first few weeks of his employment, Eren always felt like those two hated him—not with any reason, simply on principal. Because Mr. Ackerman was always away on business, the manor was quiet, only occupied by Levi and the few other servants that worked there. In those days, Eren would always be cleaning somewhere, be it the dining room or the library or some other place, and eventually run into Levi. He would find himself watching the man from across the room, either sipping tea in that peculiar way he did or reading a book with his legs crossed. And then Levi would catch him staring and glare, and the brunet would immediately look away and carry on with his business. He wasn't sure when, but eventually, those glares turned into secretive, passive glances in the hallways and in rooms when they were alone. Then, Levi started requesting that he served him tea, and before he knew it, they were meeting behind closed doors and in deserted hallways, exchanging rough kisses and heated touches that were forbidden and never to be shown in the sunlight.

And now there they were, curled under the sheets in Levi's bed, Eren's head resting contentedly against the other man's chest.

"These meetings need to stop, Eren."

"That's what you said last time," the brunet muttered, tracing nonsensical patterns on the skin of Levi's stomach.

A pale hand grabbed his, taking it and pulling it away. "I mean it this time," that smooth baritone muttered. "This is dangerous, especially for you."

Eren sighed, resolving to hold Levi's hand and position himself more comfortably against his warm body. "Does it look like I care? I've never said I wanted to stop what was between us and I'm not planning on it now."

"…I'm marrying Petra Ral."

There was a deafening silence, one that pounded against Eren's eardrums along with his heartbeat. Slowly, he sat up, his head turning to look at the man who laid beside him, gunmetal gray striking teal in the darkness.

"You… what?"

Levi's face remained neutral, his gaze never wavering from the brunet before him. "I'm marrying Petra. It's a great connection for when I succeed my father."

"You're going to… _What?!_ You don't even like her that way! You told me she's just a friend! Why would you do this?" Eren asked, trying not to raise his voice too loud. He had moved away from Levi, his fists balled up in the comforter as he tried to swallow the tightness in his throat. He couldn't believe he was hearing this. There was no way and yet…

"Do you really think this could have lasted, Eren?" the raven asked, sharp voice like broken glass. "We're both men and you're a servant in my father's household. How much more forbidden could a relationship get?"

"That obviously didn't bother you before! What could possibly make you think differently now, Levi? And be honest with me! What's wrong?"

For a long moment, the two simply stared at each other, fire clashing with ice. And then, it dawned on Eren, the fire in his eyes going dimmer and dimmer as he stared at his lover.

"Why did you have to mention your father? You could have just said I was a servant, but you added ' _in my father's household.'_ " Eren watched as Levi's face retained that calculated neutrality. And he knew:

"Kenny knows about us."

"…A maid told him."

Eren fisted a hand in his hair, cross-legged and unable to look at anything but the blanket pooling in his lap. Levi watched the young brunet, his stony eyes softening at his distress.

"Keeping this up is more dangerous for you than it is for me. Marrying Petra will appease my father and get you off the hook."

"But I thought," Eren started, looking up sharply. "I thought your father's opinion never mattered to you. Why now?"

"Are you really going to choose not to see the truth, Eren? I've practically given you my reasoning already. _Kenny will make your life a living hell if we stay together._ I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he hurt you. Just accept my decision and leave it at that."

Eren looked into Levi's eyes helplessly, trying to hold back tears. And it was really hard—and frustrating too. Levi was always the strong one, the mature one, and Eren was always struggling to keep up.

"Well… well then we—we can make this work. We just need to be more careful from now on!"

"Eren, are you even hearing yourself? I'm. Getting. Married!"

"I know that!"

"So what? You want to carry this relationship on as an affair? That's even worse!"

"Well what else am I supposed to do?! I know being with her won't make you happy! And I—well—I want to be here to make sure you're happy! And if I have to be your "mistress" then so be it!"

"...Eren," Levi started again, but couldn't find words as he stared into those oceanic pools that served as his lover's eyes. Despite the coolness they were expected to hint at, they seemed to blaze more with fire, passion, something Levi found mesmerizing in a person. _This_ person. "…You could get hurt."

"I know and I said I don't care."

After a moment, Levi's lips twitched up in a faint smile. Leaning over, he lifted his arms, cupping the brunet's face in his hands. "You really are a brat," he muttered. And then his lips touched Eren's, and Eren's arms automatically went to his waist. The kiss was sweet, short, and ended all too quickly in the younger man's opinion. He pouted, looking down at Levi as he practically held him in his lap. But the sad look in those gray eyes made him pause.

"Levi…?"

"You know I can't let you stay and watch me marry someone else. You definitely wouldn't be happy."

"What are you saying?"

"…My aunt and uncle have been looking for some reliable servants for a while now. There's some good positions available in their house and I put in a good word that you would fit in nicely."

"You're sending me away?!" Eren yelled, attempting jerk away from Levi, but the man barely budged.

"It's for the best, Eren. Don't make this more difficult than it has to be," the raven-haired man muttered. "You'll be just fine working there. They have a daughter, my cousin Mikasa. People say she's a lot like me so maybe—"

"No. Don't you dare finish that sentence, Levi Ackerman! You were not just about to suggest that I _replace you._ That's a horrible thing to say!"

"…You're right," the man finally sighed. "That was unfair. I could never replace you that easily, why should I expect you to be able to do that for me?"

At Levi's words, Eren felt himself deflate, unable to look away from the hint of sadness in those sterling eyes he had come to know so well. Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth to speak:

"So this is it then?"

Slowly, Levi nodded. "This is it."

The brunet could only take a shaky breath, arms tightening around the man in his arms protectively, possessively, never wanting to let go. It felt like too much of a tragedy, too cruel a fate to let go and never feel the same body against him, the same hands, the same lips. He felt like he had waited too long to find this amazing person—this person specifically—and now they were being ripped away from each other.

"Don't cry, brat. It's unbecoming," Levi murmured, hands guiding Eren's head to rest in the curve of his neck, fingers carding through feathery soft hair.

"I'm not crying."

"Yeah, and the snot on my shoulder is just my imagination. It's disgusting by the way, and you're cleaning it up."

Eren chuckled in spite of himself. "Of course, sir." _I'll do anything as long as it's for you._

And that meant doing everything he could to make Levi happy, even if he had to transcend this lifetime to do it.

* * *

Levi had long ago decided that he was doing this for his country. This war was long and brutal, killing hundreds and leaving thousands starving and homeless. It was his duty as an able-bodied soldier to do all he could for these people, fight for the betterment of their lives and the fulfillment of his own.

But as he stared at the corpse of the man he had just killed, saw the blood seeping from the bullet wound in his chest and gazed at those sightless, blue-green eyes… he wasn't sure it was worth it anymore.

Suddenly, he felt like vomiting, like collapsing and breaking down right there for the enemy to mow down because he couldn't do this anymore. He had just killed a boy, practically a child because of this damned war. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about how this kid was fighting for his own cause too, one that he had been raised to think was right. He couldn't stop himself from thinking this kid probably had a family, a mother and father who cared for him, siblings who asked him to come home soon, maybe even a girl who prayed for him to return to her every day. This kid was a human being—laughing and crying and blazing through life with his passions and his beliefs just like everyone else.

And he had just ended his life without even knowing his name.

The gunfire pounded on, and suddenly someone was pulling at his arm, screaming at him to move on or be killed in the crossfire.

He almost stayed.

But suddenly, he was up, turning and sprinting to his squad to issue them a new set of commands. He couldn't change what he had done to that boy, to that child that was decided by some twisted government to be his enemy. But if he pushed, if he fought and lived for another day, then maybe he could change how things were, see when the better days came rolling in and the sun was a good friend, not a warden harshly beating down on the backs of enslaved, warmongering humanity. If he could live to see those days, and spend the rest of his life enjoying every second of it, then this all would not have been for nothing.

The least he could do was live for those who no longer had the privilege.

* * *

Running a chain Bath and Body Works in a mall had never been a part of Levi's life plan, and it had certainly never been one of his life goals. Then again, his previous life goal had been to become a mafia boss, so this was the better of two evils. Staying cooped up in this store on weekdays and Saturdays sure beat living on the street trying to beat a buck or two out of some innocent bystander. Still though, he wished his life had somehow amounted to more.

He sighed, briefly pausing in his act of wiping down the counter to lean against it with his head propped in his hand, staring absently out at the few people passing by the entrance. It was usually slow this time of day, no one really coming in until after school hours when all the hormonal brats came to loiter and spit their disgusting gum onto his floor. Until then, he had let his staff off for lunch as he preferred to take this time for himself and clean up a bit, bask in the silence and mentally prepare himself for the cacophony soon to come.

It was a while before he noticed the little boy standing just inside the entrance. He was sniffling, pudgy hands scrubbing at his teary eyes before glancing around at the store, trepidation clear in his timid movements.

Normally, Levi didn't like children, and would normally scoff and roll his eyes because _crying_ children always annoyed him the most (they were so fucking loud). But… something about this one made him freeze, staring with some newfound emotion. He studied him for a long while, taking in the windswept, chocolate hair, the bangs hanging into vibrant, ocean eyes… and suddenly he was moving out from behind the counter.

"Hey, kid. You ok?" he asked, walking between the shelves to stand three feet in front of the child.

The little boy looked up, eyes shining with unshed tears as he met Levi's steel-grey gaze. "No, I—I lost my mommy."

"Just around here?" Levi asked, kneeling down to the boy's eye-level. "Did you see her recently?"

"N-no. I've been looking for her, but I can't find her anywhere."

"Hmm," Levi hummed, looking into the round face thoughtfully. "Maybe I can help with that. What's your name, kid?"

"Um…" the boy started, looking hesitant and a bit wary. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

The corner of Levi's lips twitched. "It's a little too late for that, I think. But I'm a nice stranger. See my nametag?" he asked, tapping at the piece of metal pinned to his chest for the boy to see. "I'm the manager of this store. I work here, and I promise I can help."

Wide, innocent eyes now peered down at his chest, trying to decipher the letters neatly inscribed there. "L…leh-vi."

A smile finally pulled at the raven's mouth. "It's Lee-vi. What's your name?"

Trust finally seemed to show through the boy's suspicion, and he looked at Levi hopefully. "Eren."

Levi's world jolted to a halt, and for an eternity, he stared at the child that had somehow miraculously found his way into this exact store. Suddenly it clicked, and he understood why he was so drawn to the boy, why he felt such concern. This was his Eren.

"Eren…" he whispered, sterling eyes wide as he stared at him. And just as soon as his world stopped, it ground back into motion, no matter how surreal it felt. "Well, Eren, why don't you stay here until your mother comes to get you? I can call for her over the intercom system and then she'll know where to find you."

"Ok," Eren replied softly, watching as Levi stood and held a hand out to him.

"What's her name?"

"Carla." The little hand reached up and took his middle and index fingers.

"Really?" Levi muttered, gently tugging Eren with him until they were behind the counter. "And what's her last name?"

"Jaeger."

"Hmm," he answered, deep in thought as he picked up the corded phone beside the cash register. Pressing a button and holding the receiver to his ear, he said "Carla Jaeger, your son is waiting for you in Bath and Body Works. Carla Jaeger, your son is waiting for you in Bath and Body Works."

When he hung up, he was slightly amused to see Eren staring up at the ceiling in awe, as if he had never thought the ethereal voice from above actually came from a person. But he still looked a bit upset, eyes rimmed red from crying. It somehow broke Levi's heart, and he knew that was weird and probably wrong considering he barely knew this kid, but he couldn't just leave him looking like that without trying to fix it.

Reaching under the counter, he pulled out a large mason jar, further amused as Eren's face lit up at the sight, and opened the lid, reaching in for two lollipops and offering them. "Want one? I only give these to people I like, so feel honored."

The boy nodded eagerly, and Levi watched, holding them out patiently as Eren chose. He picked the red one, leaving Levi somehow unsurprised as he kept the green one for himself. They peeled the wrappers off, the plastic tearing with a sharp, crinkling sound. Levi popped his into his mouth, folding his wrapper neatly into smaller and smaller squares and eyeing Eren out of the corner of his eye. He watched as the little boy balled the plastic into his fist and walked toward the trash can under the counter, dropping his wrapper carefully into its depths.

For some reason, it made Levi's chest swell with pride.

They stood in silence for a while, Levi leaning against his counter and watching as Eren perused the items on display. It made a smirk twitch around the stem of his sucker seeing him take the time to pick up some things, open and smell them. So he was that kind of kid, huh?

It wasn't long before a woman dashed into the store, her ponytail swishing and looking slightly disheveled as her eyes immediately locked on the little boy.

"Eren!" she exclaimed, rushing toward the boy with open arms.

"Mommy!" Eren's face lit up in pure joy and relief as he met his mother in the middle of the store, arms wrapping around her neck as she scooped him up. Levi watched the scene curiously, remaining separate for a moment and taking the time to study the woman who was Eren's mother.

So this was what she looked like.

"Oh, Eren," Carla lamented, holding her son tight. "Don't do that to me again, you understand? I told you to stay with me! Now do you understand why you shouldn't wander off?"

"Mm-hmm," Eren answered, nodding into her shoulder. "I'm sorry, mama. I won't do it again."

"You better not," the woman returned, stern but obviously relieved before she looked at Levi. "Thank you. I'm sorry if he was a bother."

It took Levi a moment to answer. He was still getting over the shock. "No. No, it was no trouble. I'm glad I could help."

"Well, we really must be going, we still have a few errands to run. Eren, dear, did you say thank you to the nice man?" Carla asked, walking closer to the counter so Eren could more properly face Levi.

The boy looked up from their embrace, little hands resting against her shoulders (one holding his lollipop) as he smiled at Levi. "Thank you, Heichou."

It felt like someone slammed their fist into Levi's heart as he stared at Eren, unable to breathe for far too long.

"…Heichou?"

Eren looked at him thoughtfully, eyebrows furrowed and teal eyes churning like the ocean depths. "You look like a soldier."

Just before they left, Carla smiled, giving him another, genuine thank you that shone through her golden irises. Then, she turned with Eren still in her arms, and the boy grinned at him brightly over her shoulder.

"Bye, Heichou!" he said. And then they were gone.

For a long time, Levi simply stared after them, a sense of loss and nostalgia washing over him. He wished that he could have somehow stayed connected to them in this life. While he obviously couldn't have pursued the kind of relationship he had had with Eren in past lives, it would have been nice to somehow have played a part in his life, no matter how small. But as his employees returned with the routine bustling of business, he resigned to continue as he always did, tending to customers and keeping his store clean.

For in this life, it was just not meant to be.

* * *

"L-Levi, we can't do this," Eren protested, just before he was slammed against the wall of his boss's office. He was shut up by a pair of impatient lips claiming his own, skillful hands flying to his collar and loosening his tie to get to the buttons of his shirt.

Eren suddenly forgot what words were and moaned, arms snaking around Levi's waist and pulling their bodies closer so there was no space between them. His hands began to roam, one miraculously finding a sliver of skin at Levi's hip and sliding along his stomach, pulling up the normally perfectly tucked shirt and feeling the smooth, marble skin underneath. His other hand traced the older man's outline, trailing down the tight curve to his thigh, pulling it up by his side to have as much bodily contact as possible.

The rest of his actions were left to instinct, his main focus now being taken up by slender fingers that carelessly threw his tie to the floor and unbuttoned his shirt. The brunet shivered as cool skin slid against his own, leaving a hot, tingling sensation along his chest and trailing up his neck to fist in his hair.

Suddenly, Levi's tongue flicked out against Eren's lower lip. He was let in without a second's hesitation, Eren moaning as their tongues danced and explored each other.

And then Levi's hand trailed down his chest and found his belt buckle.

Eren pulled away, ignoring his burning lungs and the thin string of saliva connecting them. "Stop, we can't— _ngh!"_ He tried to speak again but immediately whimpered as the fingers teasingly traced the zipper of his pants.

"If you really don't want this, why aren't you stopping me?" that low voice asked in that infuriatingly condescending tone that Eren now somehow understood.

"Th-that's not fai— _Ah!_ —It's not fair!" Eren groaned, feeling heat flush his body as Levi's lips trailed along his jaw. He bucked as the hand palmed him, and he tried for both their sakes to keep his head. "Levi, I mean it! You're my boss and this is wrong on so many levels!"

A low growl resonated from Levi's throat as he pulled away. "I'm not your boss anymore, right? So there's nothing wrong with this." Suddenly, his hand grabbed a fistful of Eren's shirt and pulled him from the wall, only to force him into the rolling chair behind the mahogany desk. Stunned, Eren watched as Levi straddled him, silver eyes flashing in the sliver of moonlight that shone through the blinds. "And don't act like the victim! I've seen the way you look at me—you've wanted this too!"

Eren could feel himself blush as he looked into those blue-flecked silver eyes. He couldn't deny that he had been admiring this man from afar ever since he started working at this firm. But had he really been that obvious?

Levi smirked as he read the truth, clear as day, on the brunet's face. Leaning closer, he placed his mouth directly by his ear, lips skimming the lobe as he whispered, "Then what's the problem?"

For a moment, the younger male simply sat there, feeling as Levi began kissing his neck and running his palms under his shirt again. But this time it was slower, almost lazy, and he knew he was being given an opportunity to speak.

"Well, I came in here to give you a week's notice of my transfer, not have a make-out session." A hum vibrated against Eren's neck, and he somehow knew the situation amused the short raven. It made Eren smile slightly before continuing. "I'm leaving on Saturday, and it's not fair to either of us to suddenly start something we'll have to finish immediately."

"Yeah, Saturday. Today is Monday, meaning we have the rest of the week to do as we please," Levi muttered before he was kissing him again, nipping at sensitive skin and running his tongue over it soothingly.

Eren shivered involuntarily. "But, Levi…"

It was a moment before the older man finally stopped, his face hidden in the curve of Eren's throat. And then he sighed, hands removing themselves from evenly tanned skin and going to the buttons of Eren's shirt, doing them up again. The man's back straightened, eyes purposefully cast downward. "If you really don't want to start anything, I won't force you to. Just give the word and I'll never bother you again."

It was barely noticeable, but Eren could hear the hint of sadness in the raven's voice. It sent a pang through his chest, and was only made worse when he glimpsed the same emotion in those silvery eyes.

He couldn't help himself. He took a deep breath.

"Well, I guess… a week with you is better than nothing."

Those slender fingers froze, halfway through folding his stiff collar flat. Eren watched, feeling himself smile as he saw those stone-cold eyes widen if only a fraction.

"…Five days. Technically. Your shitty timing couldn't have at least gotten us a full seven?"

"The deal was shaky at best and the promotion wasn't finalized until this morning," Eren replied, deciding to follow Levi's example and straighten the other man's clothes. "I'm sorry I can't see the future and warn you a month in advance."

Levi scoffed. "Well, it got us five days together. It's better than the alternative of secretly checking out each other's ass until Saturday."

"I don't know. I am pretty hot."

The raven raised an eyebrow at him, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Cheeky, aren't you?"

"In more ways than one," Eren replied with a grin.

Rolling his eyes, Levi got up, leaving a slightly disappointed brunet still sitting in his chair. Bending down, he grabbed his jacket from the floor, scooping up Eren's cherry-red tie and easily tossing it to him.

"I have a car out in the parking lot," the man started casually, throwing his jacket over his shoulder and grabbing his briefcase from the desk. "I also happen to have a driver's license and a nice house with a shower not fifteen minutes from here. I hear your plumbing just went out."

"Hmm. And so conveniently at this exact moment… I don't know if I'll last that long once I get to the car."

"Then I guess we'll have to see how things go." Levi casually walked to the door, hand resting on the knob as he looked back at the brunet at his desk. "Are you coming?"

Eren smiled at him, wrapping his tie around his hand thoughtfully. "Give me five minutes to get my stuff and I'll meet you down there."

A smirk fully appeared on Levi's face. Pulling the door open, he stepped out into the dimly lit, deserted hallway, eyes still fixated on Eren's iridescent green orbs.

"I trust you, brat."

And with that, he walked out of the room, the door left cracked open in invitation.

* * *

Life as a student was pretty normal. Calm and quiet. Every day, Eren rode the metro to his university and back home again, taking pleasure in the simplicity this life had to offer. But, to be perfectly honest with himself, it was a little _too_ simplistic. It was, he decided, very boring and run-of-the-mill. Everything was always the same, always a routine. Nothing was ever different or spontaneous or exciting.

That is, until he saw _him._

It had been a normal morning. Eren had just left home with a full stomach from breakfast and the usual nagging good-bye from Mikasa when he boarded the train. The first thing he noticed was the short, raven-haired man standing right by the door. Normally, Eren wouldn't have stared, but something about this man captured his attention. For one, he was something new—it was the first time he had seen him ride. Another thing was, and the most obvious reason why he was so "interesting," was the fact that the man decidedly looked like hell. And he didn't mean the I-woke-up-late-and-haven't-had-my-coffee-yet kind of hell. No, he meant I-haven't-eaten-or slept-properly-in- _weeks_ kind of hell.

For the whole time he rode, Eren stood a few feet away from the man, watching almost shamelessly as the man stared blankly out the window, practically about to fall over from exhaustion. It set a twinge in Eren's chest, and he felt a mysterious attachment to him. Fleetingly, he wondered what his name was, where he lived and why he looked like this. He had the urge to help him, to talk and find a way to fix whatever situation he was in, but that was stupid. He didn't know this man, and this man didn't know him. They knew nothing about each other with the exception of what train they rode that morning.

As the train came to a stop, Eren noticed the man tilt dangerously from the change in momentum, saved by the pole he had been clinging to for the past ten minutes. Just before the doors opened, he reached up, trying to grab at the briefcase settled in the basket above them. But as Eren watched, he saw the man lift his arm and wince, body jerking in the slightest of recoils like the very action hurt him. For a reason that eluded him, Eren walked over, reached up, and pulled the bag down for him.

Immediately upon feeling his presence, the man spun around, his stormy-gray eyes flashing sharply in alarm, contrasting greatly with his sickly pale complexion and the dark circles around his eyes. He looked like a cornered animal, wounded and ready to lash out. Startled, the brunet backed away, and just as he took the first step, the man snatched the bag out of his hands and was gone, through the sliding doors and out of Eren's life like he had never existed.

Still in shock, Eren collapsed into a nearby seat, staring at those same sliding doors until he was forced to get off at his stop, feeling strangely empty.

He was sad to say he never saw the man again.

* * *

If Eren did say so himself, his life had been a fulfilling one. He had had a healthy childhood, friends that were good to him, a family that loved him. He had gotten a good job after college, experienced a myriad of relationships, both good and bad but beneficial all the same. He had done good, lived to his full potential, got married, raised a family, and retired in time to fully enjoy watching his grandchildren grow up.

But even then, he knew it was still incomplete. That might have been selfish of him, to take everything he had for granted and say he wanted more. But he couldn't help it. It was instinct that kept him unsatisfied, that kept him searching and searching for something that it was far too late to have but he craved anyway. For as long as he could remember, he had had dreams of his life, but not his life, dreams of pain and agony and the frantic desire to find _something._ It wasn't until he was older that he finally realized what it was: he longed for a presence, a certain voice, a fiery touch, a warmth he had felt from ages past. He desired a person—his other half, to be exact. A man. He knew it was probably wrong to think that way, especially after getting married and raising a family with his best friend. But that wasn't something he found himself to regret as the end neared him. He had loved Armin and the children they had come to have, and he truly loved the life he had lead as a result. But a part of him wondered, wistfully, what it would have been like with _him._

But he never found him in time, the man he knew would have completed his world. Now he was old, and it was far too late to build the life he dreamed to live. He had made the best of what he had, and that was really all that mattered. That's all he would have wanted for him.

For now, Eren was content to sit on the rocking chair on his porch, eyes on the empty streets of the peaceful little suburb that had been his home for years now. Armin had long passed and his family was out living their own lives, but he was content with that. He was fine just sitting there, deep in his own contemplation…

A small movement caught his attention out of the corner of his eye, and he turned to it, watching it through tired, weak eyes. He found himself smiling as he registered the dark clothing despite the warmth of the day, and the familiar beanie on raven-black hair as the figure walked along the fence outlining his property and promptly turned through his front gate.

Well, he may not have found him on time, but at least he had found him.

Eren's smile grew wider as Levi trudged down his driveway, hands shoved deep into his pockets and scowl set permanently on his face. It wasn't long before the angsty teenager trudged up his porch steps, turned, and promptly sat himself down in the chair on the opposite side of the front door.

"Well, well. What brings you here on this beautiful day, Levi?" Eren's creaky voice asked, relaxing back into his chair and looking at the cloud-dotted, azure sky above them.

The raven didn't answer, just grunted and crossed his arms, staring out in a fashion similar to Eren's.

"Come now," the gray-haired man urged. "An old man like me doesn't get the pleasure of visitors very often. I don't mind if you unload your troubles on my deaf ears."

Levi didn't answer for a while, simply sank into his seat, looking deep in thought as if debating whether or not to actually say something.

Finally he exhaled softly, staring out at the green, gently rolling grass of the lawn. "My friends are trying to get me to date."

"Oh?" Eren queried, interest coloring his voice. "With who?"

"Petra Ral."

"Petra Ral," the old man repeated thoughtfully. "That pretty girl who lives next to the Springers?"

"Yeah."

"Well," he began, his chair rocking gently back and forth. "She seems like a nice girl, and her eyes don't seem to mind lingering on you whenever you walk by in the morning. Why not date her? A grump like you could do with a girlfriend."

"Well, I don't," Levi started, but just a quickly stopped, color subtly rising to his cheeks as his sterling gaze flitted to lock on the wooden planks of the patio. "I… I don't like girls."

"Hmm," Eren hummed, and it was silent between them for a few moments. They didn't do anything but sit and stare out at the tranquility spread before them.

 _I could have told you that,_ Eren thought snidely, and he fought back a snicker at his secret collection of knowledge before offering casually "Join the club, kiddo."

It was almost funny the way Levi started, head whipping around to Eren, eyes wide as saucers as he stared at him. "What?! You mean you're—"

"Straight as a rainbow," the old man declared proudly. "I had a husband for forty-seven years and I'm not ashamed of it."

"…Wow," Levi mumbled, staring at Eren with some newfound respect. "So… what did you do… about it?"

There was a sigh. "I admit, it was hard coming out to my loved ones, especially during such a homophobic age in our society. But you're lucky, things are better now than they used to be. My advice to you: be yourself, tell those who really matter to you. Those who really care about you will stick by you and support you no matter what."

Silence fell between them once again, Levi studying his companion in the new light he had discovered. Eventually, he sat back in his chair again, eyes fixed on nothing. "What if no one does?"

"I highly doubt that. There should at least be a few people who wouldn't care. Hell, you'd be surprised what an old man witnesses from watching the neighborhood from his porch all day." He snickered, and Levi glanced at him, one eyebrow raised, before he continued. "But if worse comes to worst, you still have Old Man Jaeger to talk booty with."

"Tch," Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes but unable to prevent the twitch of a smile pulling at his lips.

"And now that I know, I can try and hook you up with some of the eye candy I've seen around here. Like that Erwin, for instance. Now that boy is easy on the eyes. And probably really good in bed too."

The younger male suddenly laughed, that smile fully shaping his lips and reaching his steely eyes. "Perverted old man."

Eren let out a few chuckles himself, reaching for his cane to help him stand. Levi instantly got up, making his way over to the old man and offering his arm to support him. "Are we going inside?"

"Yes. I was thinking you could make us some tea, and we could have a talk about the proper use of condoms and lube—because let me tell you, boy, these things are important—and then you can mow my lawn for me, hmm?"

"God, don't. Please spare me," Levi groaned with a roll of his eyes, not able to fully remove the ghost of his previous smile from his face. "I expect some form of payment for this. I didn't come here just to suffer at your senile whims."

"You suffer, and yet you come by every day," Eren mused, a glint of humor in his once-vibrant, oceanic eyes, now dulled but warm with age.

"I have nothing better to do," the raven retorted easily, and it only made Eren chuckle as they finally reached his front door and went inside.

It may have come a little late, but at least he had gotten the companionship he had always wanted to ease him out of his last days on Earth.

* * *

Christmas had never been fun for Levi. He never seemed able to enjoy the festivities, no matter how hard he tried. The end of March wasn't happy either. He always found himself sitting off somewhere in a dark corner or room all to himself, staring into space or out a window lost in thought. When he was younger, he always wondered why he was like this. It's not like anything traumatic had ever happened to him. For a long time, he thought it was just depression.

His aversion only strengthened when his memories returned. Slowly, he began to remember other lives, other people he had never seen before. It was almost overwhelming to have so many lifetimes crammed into one mind. But there was something that gave him focus. In almost every life that came to him, there was a constant. He could remember the same need, the same desire, the same empty feeling that plagued him and compelled him on a never-ending search. And each time, it had been because of one person.

And now that person was standing right in front of him.

For a full minute, he stood there, unable to move or even breathe as he stared at the boy standing a mere three feet away from him. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, couldn't believe that it really was the same person: the same feathery, chocolate hair; oceanic eyes that somehow blazed with fire; perfectly tanned, sun-kissed skin…

He wondered if his friends had known, if they remembered too and had planned this from the start. They had told him they were going out to celebrate Christmas as a group and had dragged him along. He really hadn't wanted to, especially since they were going to hang out with some other people he didn't know, but he really couldn't stop them from dragging him out to the boardwalk downtown.

But he didn't really care about what they did or didn't know. All he cared about in that moment was who was before him.

Eren stared right back, neither of them bothering to pay attention to any of what their friends were saying. Right then, the only things that existed were the two of them.

For a fleeting second, Levi thought they had a chance this time. He glanced over Eren's clothes, the ripped jeans and suede jacket telling him they were about the same age, maybe a couple years' difference. But instantly, he shot that down. After so many lives spent meeting and being torn apart, of completely missing each other and never finding fulfillment, there was no way this life would be any different. With his luck, Eren wouldn't even remember, and he would already have someone he held dear, a place he belonged that did not involve him.

"Hello, I'm Eren," the brunet greeted, mouth pulled into a grin and eyes bright with the white lamplight and Christmas decorations surrounding them. "You must be Levi."

The raven nodded, a smile pulling at his lips in spite of himself. It was just good to see his brat. "That's me."

Eren's head tilted to the side curiously. "If you don't mind me saying so, you look like you don't wanna be here."

Levi shrugged, hands in his pockets as he looked at Eren. "Christmas has never really been my thing."

"Really? I'm sorry to hear that," the brunet said, sounding truly remorseful. "Well, you know, I know a thing or two about celebrating Christmas. Maybe I could show you a good time?"

Levi couldn't help but jump to the conclusion that there was a double meaning to that, but he mentally slapped himself and went with the more innocent of the two, glancing down at the pavement almost forlornly.

"I don't know—"

"Oh, come on." Suddenly Eren was holding a black-gloved hand to him, a small smile stretching across his lips. "Don't you trust me?"

With those four words, Eren's ever-expressive eyes glinted, and Levi knew.

A smirk fully formed on Levi's lips, and he could barely reign in the happiness—the hope—that bloomed in his chest. "We just met, but I can't find it in myself to say no." With that, he took Eren's hand, and warmth instantly enveloped his thin, cold fingers. "You know, if the others saw us like this, they'd start thinking things."

"Let them think," Eren returned, smiling softly as he began to guide Levi down the street with the myriad of lights to brighten their way, lagging behind the group of friends that had at some point left them alone. "I couldn't care less right now."

"Confident. I like that," Levi commented easily and felt a warm glow in his chest when Eren's fingers curled tighter around his hand. "And bold. Straightforward. This night may get better yet."

"I'm glad you think so. Happy Birthday, by the way."

Those words only served to make Levi smile, because he was pretty sure he hadn't told Eren it was his birthday.

"Merry Christmas, brat," he returned, content to take every drop of happiness he could from this chance and savor the life yet to come, because this time around, they had all the time in the world to do it right.

* * *

A/N: Please let me know what you think :)


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